5 Ways to Keep the Internet from Controlling Your Life

The internet is a great blessing.  I love it.  But ever feel like the internet is controlling your life?  Ever feel like you started to get something done, then somehow wound up on Youtube watching Denver the Guilty Dog?  Did you just click and watch Denver the Guilty Dog? 🙂

You’re not alone:

  • According to Nielsen, US adults spent an average of more than 30 hours a month on their phones in 2013.
  • The average Facebook user spends 46 minutes per day on the site.
  • It would take you 2 weeks (24 hours a day!) to watch all the video uploaded to Youtube — IN THE LAST 60 SECONDS.

I think we can all agree: The internet can be a monster that eats up your time.

Here’s how to tame the monster:

How to Get More Done With Less Willpower

The bank teller yesterday laughed and called me OCD. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)  She said that because I pulled out my phone, looked at my budget and asked for $232 back in cash.  And every week I get the same amount, in exactly the same denominations.  All the tellers at my bank know.

Increasing your willpower can help avoid pastoral burnout

I’ve been called (good-naturedly) “nerd” and a bunch of other things.  But here’s the thing: I’m not OCD.  I’m not that organized in a lot of ways.  I’m not really nerd…… OK, I am a little nerdy.

But the truth is: most of what I do is not because I’m a super-organized, pocket-protector guy.  In fact, I am rather distractable, and disorganized in a lot of ways.  My wife & anyone else close to me knows.

How I discovered the power of systems

I moved to OKC, became a pastor and had a kid in the course of a year.  I felt like my whole life was spent barely “keeping the cheese on the cracker.”  It was like wet toilet paper: always falling apart at the wrong moment.  I told my wife it felt like I was juggling china plates.  (I like metaphors.)

I think I first discovered the power of systems when I organized my folder system on my laptop so I can always find what I want quickly.  That stayed in place even through the chaos.  I have re-organized it a couple times, but I still use it 11 years later.  It felt like the ONE PART of my life that was actually WORKING.  I had started to discover the truth spoken by that great guru of personal productivity, Winnie the Pooh:

“Organization is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it’s not all mixed up.” – Winnie the Pooh

What Systems Are

Here’s what I mean by a system: A way of organizing information or doing work that is a) written down and b) repeatable.

Here’s what I discovered:  Systems uphold and advance values.  Systems are the things that make visions become reality.

We’ve all been there: We have a great conversation, read a great book, have a deep time of reflection, go to a great conference — and we connect in that moment with our deepest values.  Things that resonate inside us. Then we forget.  The notes never get turned into action.  The conversation is forgotten in the rush of the “urgent.”

For a while I thought it was because the values weren’t real or intense enough.  I thought the problem was motivation… As if I really didn’t hold those values deeply enough.  You know the cruel self-talk:
“If I REALLY valued my family, I’d…”  
“If I was serious about my health, I ought to…”
“Obviously I just don’t care enough about my prayer life…” 

Sometimes, this could be the case.  But not always… maybe not even usually.  I think it’s because we have a limited supply of willpower and brainpower (I’ll be writing on this in the future!).  We can’t wake up every morning and get done the things that tug at our attention, and still create brand-new, never-before-thought-of ways to live out our deepest values!  We just don’t have the margin in today’s fast paced world.

What if there was a way that required less thinking, less willpower, less motivation and got better results?  What if you could think about it once, create a list, and then set a reminder?  What if the mental maintenance on your values dropped by 50%?

I am starting to see this in my life — with systems.

What Systems Can Do

Systems have enabled me to:

  • Get dressed faster in the morning
  • Accomplish several things I value every single day
  • Improve my relationship with my wife
  • Start improving my health
  • Prepare speeches or sermons faster and more thoroughly
  • Raise 7 kids on limited income.
  • Eliminate money fights between my wife and I
  • Cut forgetfulness in my life in half (haven’t eliminated it yet…)
  • Decrease the stress on my limited willpower
  • Focus on what matters in the middle of too many options

In Part 2 of this series on systems, I will share a process for How to Create Systems In Your Work and Life.

What about you?  What are some benefits you might reap in your life by installing systems?  

The Reason You’re Stuck, & How to Get Unstuck

He sat across from me, bouncing his knee nervously, twisting his napkin in his hands.  “I don’t know why I do this… over and over again.  I’m such a fool.  But I guess that’s just me.”

I’ve played that scene so many times as a pastor.  Sometimes, I’m the guy listening, helping the addict bounce back.  Again.  Other times, I’ve played the other side of the table… beating myself up for another failure… trying to figure out why I’m stuck.

Credit: Bigstockphoto

Credit: Bigstockphoto

If you know what that feels like, you need to hear Jesus’ almost-insulting question in John 5:6: “Do you want to be well?”  Now, you may not feel insulted by that question… but the guy Jesus asked had been crippled for 38 years.  Sitting by a pool that legend said was a healing pool, trying to get in, and failing… for 38 years.

I think I’d have been peeved.  Miffed.  Ticked.  At least grumpy.  “Well, of COURSE I want to be well. Why do you think I’m sitting here?!”

The disabled guy didn’t get angry; but he didn’t really answer the question, either.  “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”  (John 5:7, NIV)

Did you see it?  He offers an excuse.  Before we get too “grumpy cat” with Jesus for asking a stupid question, let’s take a second look.  Maybe this isn’t a stupid question — it might be the most pertinent of all for people who have been stuck.

Excuses are anti-responsibility.  And consequently, they are anti-wellness.

But after sitting on stuck in our life for a while, we can stop seeing possibilities.  Instead, we only see the excuses we’ve created to dull the pain of being stuck.

We start seeing excuses as friends that dull the pain, instead of enemies that keep us stuck.

You’ve lived life doubting Jesus and believing your excuses.  It’s time to believe Jesus and doubt your excuses.

This is the subject of a message that I preached recently at our church.  If you’d like more thoughts on this, here it is:


What about you?  What are your favorite excuses — ones that you need to tell to take a hike?