If you’ve ever walked out of a board meeting feeling frustrated, unheard, or quietly defeated… you’re not alone.
I’ve been there.
Early in my pastoral ministry—over 20 years ago now—I found myself stuck, not because I didn’t care about the mission, but because I didn’t know how to lead forward when the people who had authority wouldn’t move. At one point, I was literally making motions to buy toilet paper in board meetings. That’s when it hit me: something has to change.
This post is for pastors who believe in disciple-making, but feel blocked by a church board that seems unwilling—or unable—to engage.
Stubborn boards don’t mean you’re a bad leader. But they do require you to lead differently.
First, Let’s Name the Real Problem
When pastors say, “My board is stubborn,” they often mean one of three things:
- They won’t take time to engage with important information
- They resist change, even mission-critical change
- They default to delay instead of decision
Here’s the key insight I had to learn the hard way:
Most board resistance isn’t rebellion—it’s disengagement.
That doesn’t make it harmless. But it does change how you respond.
Step 1: Give Them One More Clear Opportunity
Before you change strategy, start with clarity.
Tell your board—plainly and respectfully—that this issue matters to you and to the mission of the church. Invite them to pray. Invite their thoughts. Ask them to engage.
Sometimes people don’t respond because they don’t realize the weight of the request.
And sometimes… they still won’t.
Step 2: Accept a Hard Truth (Without Becoming Bitter)
Here’s something many pastors know but rarely say out loud:
Some board members should not be board members.
That’s not an insult. It’s a leadership reality.
Now, replacing board members is usually a long-term process—often 2–3 years. So the question becomes: What do you do in the meantime?
You lead anyway.
Step 3: Use the Meeting During the Meeting
If you have influence over the agenda, the most practical solution is also the simplest:
Do the work together.
If your board won’t watch discipleship training material on their own, schedule time in the meeting to do it together. Read it together. Watch it together. Discuss it together. This removes excuses and keeps everyone on the same page.
There’s a ton of wisdom in what I call “Installing common language” because you’ve read the same books, watched the same videos, etc.
Step 4: When Authority Is Limited, Lead With Influence
If you’re not the chair—or if formal authority is limited—shift your approach.
Invite a small group of key influencers in your church to your home. These should be people your board already respects.
Here’s how I’d suggest structuring it:
- Invite 4–5 trusted leaders
- Be clear about the purpose: improving discipleship
- Feed them (this matters more than we admit)
- Walk them through the vision and the tools
If they’re on board, ask them a simple question:
“Would you be willing to help me share this with the board?”
Then let them do the talking.
The Leadership Principle Behind This
John Maxwell calls this “the meeting before the meeting.”
Most real decisions aren’t made by votes alone. They’re shaped by conversations, trust, and influence that happen outside formal rooms. That’s not manipulation… that’s just called leadership.
The apostle Paul understood this well when he wrote:
“And what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.” (2 Timothy 2:2, ESV)
Paul didn’t try to convince everyone. He invested in the right people.
A Final Word of Encouragement
If you’re facing a stubborn board, hear this clearly:
- You’re not failing
- You’re not alone
- And you’re not powerless
Leadership requires courage, patience, and wisdom—often all at the same time.
As a pastor, a husband to Elizabeth, and a dad to seven kids, I’ve learned that faithful leadership is rarely fast—but it is always worth it.
If you lead with prayer, clarity, and courage, God will honor that obedience.
And if you need help building a discipleship plan that actually works in real churches, you don’t have to figure that out alone. You can find out more about this discipleship plan here with a free PDF.
If this post helped you, consider sharing it with another pastor who might need encouragement today.
