Lowering Your Sunday Morning Stress

Ray Stevens, the great musical comedian, once wrote a song called “Sunday Mornings.”

Chaos, mayhem, panic and disorder
Even worse when we were cursed with not enough hot water
We broke most of the Commandments and a host of the heavenly warnings
Trying to get the family to church on Sunday morning

If you smiled at that, it’s probably because you can identify.  We’ve all been there.

But honestly, is that the mindset you want heading into worship?  Do you think that frustration or discouragement or stress shows up in how you lead a service?  How you preach?  How you handle those E.G.R. (Extra Grace Required) people?

You bet it does.

Since my wife and I were blessed with our 7th child (6th boy) a few weeks ago, I’m feeling the need to take my Sunday morning routine to a new level to lower the stress level.  For me, step #1 is re-instating a ministry in our church that fell off the wagon sometime back when a volunteer experienced some physical problems and had to step down.

So it’s appropriate that today’s 5 Minute Mentoring Video be a piece on how to lower your stress on Sunday mornings, when the “performance pressure” is on.

Here’s the details on the system that I’m tweaking and re-installing:


How to Reduce Pastoral Stress With Systems

5 Minute Mentoring

I am OK with some kinds of stress.  Performance stress is good for you, since it raises your awareness and sends adrenaline coursing through your body…

how to be less overwhelmed in 15 minutes

But I hate most kinds of stress.  It lowers joy, saps energy & creativity, and is a continual “white noise” in the brain when you need to think clearly.  I don’t think it’s possible to eliminate all stresses from your life.  But I don’t want to deal with one bit more than I have to.

The biggest single secret for reducing stress I’ve found (outside of prayer & faith) is SYSTEMS.

Here’s your 5 Minute Mentoring Today:

A Word from Our Sponsor:

SermonSubscribe - Providing Quality Preaching Through Video for churches who have lost their pastor

This video series is brought to you by SermonSubscribe, providing quality preaching by video.

Are you burned out as a pastor? Need someone to help lift the preaching load for a time? Do you need a sabbatical, but not sure how you will fill the pulpit?

Are you on a pastoral search committee, but you’re struggling to find a good candidate, and make sure someone is able to preach every weekend? Did your pastor retire, and you’re looking for a new one… but you have to bridge the gap until you can hire a new pastor?

You need to check out SermonSubscribe (www.sermonsubscribe.com). Each week, I preach live in Oklahoma City, edit the High-definition video, and send it to churches across the United States. By the middle of the week, those churches have a quality Biblical sermon to download, handouts to print out & copy… and all of this for far less than it costs to bring in a special speaker or interim pastor.

Have questions?  For pricing, or common questions, please visit www.sermonsubscribe.com.

Changing Your Church Wisely

Everyone knows that change is “make or break” for leadership.

The test of leadership isn’t how many people voted for you, or how many will cry at your funeral… it’s whether or not you can lead people to change.

John Maxwell says,

But which changes?  Too often, as leaders, since we “own” the change (i.e. we came up with the idea), we fail to understand the emotional cost of change for those who follow us.

Today’s 5 Minute Mentoring Video helps clarify how choosing changes wisely can boost your trust — or break it.

What do you think?  Share this quote below if you agree:

Church Revitalization Coaching Session #4

Preparing for Guests & Getting Them to Come Back

Hey there, church leader!  Thanks for being a part of Church Revitalization Coaching!

This month, we’re talking about how to get ready for guests at your church… and how to help them feel welcome and get as many as possible of them to come back again and again!

Below is the video and file downloads for this month:

5 Minute Mentoring: Getting Permission To Make Changes

The relationship of trust to change...

I remember when the professor stood in front of our class, and passed out copies of the 5 year vision plan of a young, visionary pastor he had known.  It was detailed, multiple pages… and quite ambitious.

Then the prof read the resignation letter of the chairman of the church board.  And another board member.

And then, he read the resignation letter of that young, visionary pastor.

None of you want to be that person… big dreams, no ability to get people to follow.

So how can we build that ability?  Demonstrating character & competence in our decisions over time.  That’s what today’s 5 minute mentoring video is about, inspired by a concept in a John Maxwell book.

Check out the video below:

#4 – Getting Permission To Change Things from Darrell Stetler II on Vimeo.

A Word from Our Sponsor:

SermonSubscribe - Providing Quality Preaching Through Video for churches who have lost their pastor

This video series is brought to you by SermonSubscribe, providing quality preaching by video.

Are you burned out as a pastor? Need someone to help lift the preaching load for a time? Do you need a sabbatical, but not sure how you will fill the pulpit?

Are you on a pastoral search committee, but you’re struggling to find a good candidate, and make sure someone is able to preach every weekend? Did your pastor retire, and you’re looking for a new one… but you have to bridge the gap until you can hire a new pastor?

You need to check out SermonSubscribe (www.sermonsubscribe.com). Each week, I preach live in Oklahoma City, edit the High-definition video, and send it to churches across the United States. By the middle of the week, those churches have a quality Biblical sermon to download, handouts to print out & copy… and all of this for far less than it costs to bring in a special speaker or interim pastor.

Have questions?  For pricing, or common questions, please visit www.sermonsubscribe.com.

5 Minute Mentoring: Leading Change More Effectively

Leading change in a local church is a tough task.  Just about any pastor has one of these stories:

goldfish seeking a change
  • a needed change that crashed and burned after it was presented to a church board…
  • a “church boss” who couldn’t bear to see their pet program canned…
  • a brilliant plan plan shot down by failure to process it properly with key leaders…

An indisputable fact: Change COSTS.  Financially.  Spiritually.  Emotionally.  Chronologically.

So how can we help ourselves know which changes to take on, and help people process them?

Here’s a helpful chart shared with me by my “brother in the Gospel” Darrell Underwood (MS, USAF, Ret.), who pastors a church plant in Clovis, NM called Servant’s Heart Chapel.  From his years of work in Process Improvement for the Air Force.

#3 – PICK Chart: Leading Change More Effectively from Darrell Stetler II on Vimeo.

5 Minute Mentoring: The Time Management Matrix

When was the last time you felt like you had ENOUGH time?  I’m guessing it was on the 12th of Never.

Time management is one of the toughest things about being a pastor. Preaching, family, discipleship planning, worship… Demands on your time are never-ending, and time-wasters abound.

Have you ever:

  • Fielded phone calls that took you off on a wild-goose chase?
  • Lived most of a month in “crisis mode?”
  • Found yourself mired in work that doesn’t contribute to your goals?
  • Suddenly realized you wasted more time than you should have on other people’s priorities?

Few things are more frustrating than getting to the end of a week, and feeling like “I’ve been busy, but I didn’t get the most important things done.”

Today’s video gives a helpful tool from Steven Covey’s book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”.  It’s a time management matrix that helps you sort out the volume of roles & tasks, to help identify which ones help you live with more intentionality and less stress.

Check out the video below:

#2 – 5 Minute Mentoring – Time Management Matrix from Darrell Stetler II on Vimeo.

5 Minute Mentoring: How to Share the Gospel

A quick but thorough way to share God's Good News

Hi, welcome to a new feature on the blog!

5 Minute Mentoring is a new feature brought to you by SermonSubscribe.  It’s designed to be a quick hit of practical tools-you-can-use, something that will help you organize, decide, be less stressed, more prepared.

How do you share the Gospel?  Do you have a prepared presentation, or do you just “wing it?”  I am a big believer in being prepared “to give an answer to any man that asks a reason for the hope that you have” (1 Peter 3:15).  I’ve always keep a presentation of the Gospel on tap, so I can succinctly explain it in whatever time frame the Lord gives me to witness.

For some years, I used the “cross bridge” diagram.  But something bugged me about it… I couldn’t place it until I saw someone share a different one.

In the last few months, I’ve made a change in how I share the Gospel.  This method, called the Three Circles, does a better job of explaining the Kingdom and sanctifying nature of the Gospel, instead of simply ignoring it for a simple transactional focus for salvation.

But check it out for yourself and see what you think:

5 Minute Mentoring #1 – Gospel Presentation from Darrell Stetler II on Vimeo.

If you’re interested in purchasing a tract based around this, try this one, which comes in both an app and printed form you can order for your church.

Hope you can tune into the Spirit and see a chance to share the Gospel this week!

Thanks for what you do, pastor!

 

SermonSubscribe - Providing Quality Preaching Through Video for churches who have lost their pastor

This video series is brought to you by SermonSubscribe, providing quality preaching by video. Are you burned out as a pastor? Need someone to help lift the preaching load for a time? Do you need a sabbatical, but not sure how you will fill the pulpit?

Are you on a pastoral search committee, but you’re struggling to find a good candidate, and make sure someone is able to preach every weekend? Did your pastor retire, and you’re looking for a new one… but you have to bridge the gap until you can hire a new pastor?

You need to check out SermonSubscribe (www.sermonsubscribe.com). Each week, Darrell Stetler II preaches live in Oklahoma City, edits the High-definition video, and sends it to churches across the United States. By the middle of the week, those churches have a quality Biblical sermon to download, handouts to print out & copy… and all of this for far less than it costs to bring in a special speaker or interim pastor.

Have questions?  For pricing, or common questions, please visit www.sermonsubscribe.com.

Why I’m Taking a Break From My Blog

A quick announcement before I start today:  If you haven’t taken my survey about your greatest frustrations and joys as a pastor, please click take it… only 12 questions.  I will be drawing two names from the ones who take it for two Amazon $20 gift cards… ends today!

THE REAL POINT OF THIS POST

I’m announcing today that I’m taking 2 weeks off from the blog to do three things:

1. Seek God’s direction for the future of the blog.

I started this blog almost 6 months ago, and it’s been quite a learning curve for me.  I’ve really enjoyed it, and have met some fantastic people, and been encouraged by many of your comments, that something I wrote was helpful.

Writing regularly has been a stretch, but has been a helpful discipline for me in many ways, and I’ve truly enjoyed doing it.  But it’s been much more than just the writing.  Trying to do the blog with excellence has meant learning a lot about the behind-the-scenes WordPress things… Additionally, I have been preparing several projects in the background of the blog that I have been working on, including:

  • Video coaching programs for young pastors
  • A coaching program for small church revitalization
  • An e-book on how to recruit more volunteers
  • An e-book and coaching program on how to follow up on guests

These have taken up a lot of time and mental energy, and I am really quite close to launching them.

Recently God sent three separate people to me (in one day) with a message from the Lord.  As Liz and I prayed over it, it seemed to indicate a change of pace was in order… so we’re seeking what to do about that.

At this point, I intend to continue to write, but we will see what that looks like.  I will continue to keep my commitments to those churches that I’m coaching, and pastors that I’m coaching, but will have to wait until after this period of seeking to see if I will open that up to other churches & pastors.

2. Seek God’s power for a fresh season in our lives.

When the Lord sent these messages to us, they also all indicated that God was about to answer some long-standing prayers, and move powerfully in our city.  We are thankful, and walking in expectation.  Specifically, the message was to be ready, ask largely, rest, and watch God work.

The coordination of these messages (all of them unsolicited, and from people who had no contact with one another) was remarkable.  We are waiting with anticipation to see how the Lord will fulfill his Word.

3. Attend the IH Convention in Dayton, OH.

While we are resting & seeking the Lord, we will be attending the IHC in Dayton.  If you follow me on Twitter, I’m sure you’ll see some live tweets from that.

If you’re not familiar with the Inter-Church Holiness Convention, you can check it out here.  The IHC is the largest gathering of people from the Conservative Holiness Movement in the US.  Tuesday thru Thursday, people from the holiness movement gather to hear great preaching, fellowship together, & be encouraged in the Lord.

If you’d like to know more about it, you can find the link to watch live here.  The daily schedule is also posted on the site here.  I’ll be preaching Thursday morning, but I’m not sure if that will be live streamed or not.

Liz and I went through an excellent conference some years ago called “Family ID.”  The conference led us through the process of creating a mission, vision and values for our family.  (Sometime soon, I will write about that…)

One of the 80-something values on the list we created is “Valuing the events that gather holiness people.”  This is why we go to camp meeting, Outreach and Bus Convention, and it’s why we go to the Inter-Church Holiness Convention.

We believe that there is value in gathering with God’s people, being encouraged in the Lord, sharing the journey with a larger circle of Christian family, and being reminded of the heritage of holy men and women in whose line we stand.

So I’m taking time off for that and for family… and I’ll be back, hopefully with a sense of what the Lord is leading toward next.

Thanks for what you do for the Lord as a small-church pastor!  You make an eternal difference!