Surveys say that most pastors have felt like quitting in the past 12 months. If you feel like you’re about to crack wide open, drop in your tracks, or get a Pez dispenser full of Tums to keep your stomach calm…You may be feeling as though God is angry with you, and would push you to keep going, do more, try harder… and you’re dead wrong.
Give me a chance to prove it: Check out how God responded to an exhausted prophet.
I know that title is pretty broad — I can’t do anything about some of the frustrations in your life. I can’t do anything about that guy whose trash blows in your yard. Or the guy on the interstate who cuts you off with no blinker. And you really can’t do much about it, either. Just get over yourself and get over them. 🙂
But there are some larger, enduring frustrations that I’ve experienced that I bet you have too. And THOSE, I can teach you something about. It’s the frustration that comes with seasons in your life.
I know you’re familiar with the concept of seasons of the year, but you might not have thought of life in terms of seasons.
3 things you need to remember to keep from being frustrated about seasons:
Here are some examples of micro-seasons:
Examples of macro-seasons:
For micro-seasons, you just need to wait them out, and take some short term actions — medication, rest, etc.
For macro-seasons, you’ll need to adjust your attitude, check your values, and engage in personal growth.
You can’t just decide you’re not going to participate in this season any more. You can’t stop most seasons of life any more than you can stop spring or winter from coming.
So the solution to the frustration can’t be found in how to change the season… it’s got to be found in how I respond to it.
The old saying “It’s not what happens to you, it’s what happens IN you,” applies here. Author and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl said,
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom….When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Early in my ministry, when we were frustrated about a season we were facing, Liz and I would often say to each other, dramatially, “Well, in the grand scale of 30 years of ministry…” It was usually good for a chuckle, but it did more. It became a tagline that allowed us to “zoom out” and see the season from the larger perspective.
Be careful of your words. They don’t just reveal your perspective — they help create it! And your perspective helps create your reality… Create wisely.
Kids have been probably the defining season of this part our life. I have a saying my wife and I have laughed over for the last few years: “Someday, I’m going to change the world, but right now I have to change this kid’s diaper.” It helps me laugh, and remember the delicious irony of a young kid that thought he was going to change the world through his career in ministry — then had 6 kids, and discovered that he needed to change himself first.
Sam Chand says, “A leader can only grow up to the level of his tolerance for pain.” Seasons can be full of pain.
But they are also prime places for “the growth that happens before the growth.” You know what I mean by that, right? It’s what Steven Covey calls the “private victory” that always precedes “public victory.”
I know what it’s like to be dealing with a season while wishing to be out “kicking behind and taking names.” But while you’re waiting, don’t waste the time. This is captured beautifully in John Waller’s song “While I’m Waiting” from the movie Fireproof. Check it out if you need some encouragement:
Choose your attitude. Watch your words. Create your plan. You’re going to get through this.
The Christmas season is wonderful — and incredibly busy. The programs, the gifts, the family time, the sermons, the special events, the dinners, the last-minute details… it can all add up to a huge stress load. What if you could take 15 minutes and lower your stress level — feel less overwhelmed, more in control, and ready to get something done? Would that be attractive?
I’m not talking about a massage, a medication, or the proverbial ‘stiff drink.’ Those are attempts to escape stress. I’m talking about looking that giant hairy stress monster in the face & cutting it down to size.
Is that really possible? Don’t doubt me until you’ve tried these 5 simple steps:
“Pastor.” The word may have lost some of its respect over the years, with high-profile scandals, Hollywood hit jobs, and TV cariacatures. But the title still conjures up good things in many American minds. A 2011 study by Rasmussen says 70% of Americans view pastors favorably.
But pastors, honestly, through all of their healing, restoring & guiding work, can live with a lot secret pain.
According to a survey by the New York Times in 2010,
“Not my pastor.”
No, I hope not. But some pastor friends of mine have reached these points.
I recently surveyed pastor across several denominations and asked them what was most frustrating in their ministry. I gave them multiple options to choose from, as well as the ability to write their own answers. Here’s what they told me about their greatest challenges:
In the next few days, I’ll be posting a couple posts on the toughest things about being a pastor. I’m doing a survey of all my readers who are pastors, to see what you say are the toughest things about your job.
If you’ve already taken the survey, thank you!
I’m working through the results now — and look forward to sharing them! In the survey I asked a question… Maybe you can relate to some of these answers:
Can you relate to the pain of any of those answers?? I certainly can!
What are YOUR greatest pain points?
If you haven’t taken the 8-question survey yet, please CLICK HERE. I’d love to have YOUR INPUT!
One of the top 5 “pain points” was “not being able to follow up on guests.” I can relate — for years, I felt the frustration of this one!
But about 3 years ago, I got frustrated enough to start designing a system that didn’t allow people to fall through the cracks.
I’m going to teach you how to build the system (and save you TONS of time in the process) on my webinar Friday and Saturday. There are 3 time slots for you convenience… I plan to give away as many of my secrets as possible. 🙂