Pastor, Here’s Why You Can’t Quit

If the stats are right, several pastors reading this are burned out and thinking of quitting… or at least wishing it could happen. The old joke about “writing your resignation letter every Monday” has a grain of truth. You’re burned out. Used up. Frustrated. In conflict. Spiritually drained. Unappreciated.

I don’t know if you’re one of those. I hope not. But odds are, someone reading this said under your breath, “That’s me.”

For the next few minutes, I’m talking to you.

For just the next few minutes, you are a boxer. The bell has rung, ending the round — just in time. Literally, saved by the bell. You stagger back to the corner, battered and bleeding. Collapsing onto the stool, you say, “I’m done. I can’t do it. I’ve got to quit.” A quick swipe of the towel, and I’m down in your face. Through clenched teeth, in a low growl, here’s what I’ve got to say:

“Jesus called you to suffer this.”

Not all pastors are called to blowout success. I don’t know the “Why of heaven” on this. But you know in your gut it’s true — there are too many godly & gifted men through history who didn’t see big numbers. If you see this as the calling of God to face the attack of the enemy, it makes a difference.

“This will not last forever.”

Don’t quit because of a season! You can outlast that critic. Those children will not always be so small. God will answer prayer. Someone will be changed. You will not always feel this alone. Your spouse will not always be sick.

“This is where you prove your grit.”

You must — you MUST. Watch this video.

 

“Jesus is worth this.”

I know you’re doubting it will ever be any different, and thinking that you have no more strength. But remember your brothers & sisters in Moslem countries. Remember those have lost eyes, hands, jobs… those who have been tied to stakes and flogged.

They found that Christ was worth the pain.  They found that He satisfies here on Earth, and they proved his supreme worth by what they suffered.  And when we arrive in heaven, whatever pain you’re experiencing will only produce greater glory when you’re in His All-Satisfying Presence.

“This is the price of Christian leadership.”

1 Corinthians 4:9 For it seems to me that God has put us apostles on display at the end of the procession, like men condemned to die in the arena. We have been made a spectacle to the whole universe, to angels as well as to men.
10 We are fools for Christ… We are weak… we are dishonored!
11 To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless.
12 We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it;
13 when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world. (NIV)

This is not new!  You think you’re better than Paul?  Or Stephen?  Or Jesus?

Get your head up. No, look up here. Look me in the eye.

Grit your teeth and say it: I will not quit.

No, don’t you mumble and drop your eyes. LOOK AT ME.

Say it.

SAY IT.

I WILL NOT QUIT.

I. WILL. NOT. QUIT.

Now, call a preacher friend or mentor and tell them you’re not going to quit. Email me and tell me you need prayer, but you’re not going to quit. I will stop and pray for you as soon as I get the email. We are in this thing together. We need you. No more men running for the safety of the rear lines while the shells of the enemy scream overhead!

Now, type I WILL NOT QUIT in the Comments below.

Then, go read this post about action steps you can take if you’re burned out and discouraged as a pastor!

My Spectacular Failure in Food Pantries

And what I learned from it...

Lexi was an enthusiastic new attender of our church.  She was about 35.  She, her husband & several kids all lined up and nearly filled a pew — back when a full pew was a rarity in our church.  She invited others.  She seemed hungry for the Word of God.  She even seemed eager to put the Word into practice.  I still remember when she called me one Sunday afternoon after I preached on reconciliation, and told me she’d called her dad and asked his forgiveness.  They had not spoken in years.

She had enthusiasm and ideas.  One Sunday, she came up to me and asked if she could start a food pantry ministry.  I was all for it!  We live in an economically poor area where 34% of households are under $20k/yr income.  People called the church all the time asking for food or other help.

She started working.  She named the ministry “Love Thy Neighbor Food Pantry.”  She set up a simple, free website.  She called grocery stores and got managers to donate food.  She called furniture manufacturers and got a lumber donation to build shelves.  We hauled the wood to the church.

I was flying high.  This was the kind of people-helping, city-blessing ministry I’d dreamed about starting when I was a pastoral student in college!

A Sudden Change

About 3 weeks of this kind of work, one Sunday she didn’t show up for worship.  I called, and she said she wasn’t feeling well.  The next week, she was gone again, and this time she didn’t answer my calls.  I checked with a mutual friend, and what I found out floored me.

A Pastor’s Thanksgiving List

10 Things I'm Thankful for this week

It’s that time of year, where our hearts turn toward things we are thankful for.  Thanksgving is far too important a habit to only do once per year.  Zig Ziglar was right: “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”

Sounds like something we ought to cultivate year-round!  So here’s my list of 10 things I’m thankful for as a pastor:

1. Thank you, Lord, for saving me, and for your sanctifying work in my heart.

The day I feel like I’ve arrived is the day I stop leading people deeper into Christ.  Don’t ever let me get over the shock of the Gospel, or the hunger for more holiness.

2. Thank you, Lord, for calling me into the work of a pastor.

It’s a privilege to help the Great Shepherd care for His sheep.  Thanks for inviting me to participate in leading your people.  Don’t let me use them, resent them, or mislead them.  Let me be patient with them like you are with me.

3. Thank you, Lord, for my wife.

Darrell and Elizabeth Stetler

My wife Elizabeth and I

She could have done anything.  She could have had a safe house and life in a small town.  She could have lived where the helicopter doesn’t circle.  But she was willing to live in an exemplary way, in the “fishbowl” of a pastor’s home, and serve God’s people in that way.   Thank you for her unselfish commitment to the Kingdom… and me.

4. Thank you, Lord, for my family.

20151122_100932

Grace, Darrell III, Heath, Caleb, Gideon and Will

They take the benefits and sacrifices with grace and sweetness.  Please help me be faithful to them, and to pastor the little church in my home first.

5. Thank you, Lord, for my spiritual heritage.

V. O. Agan and Darrell Stetler II

Granddaddy Agan – a great man and preacher

Four Stetler Generations - Kenneth Stetler, Darrell Stetler Sr, Darrell Stetler II, Darrell Stetler III

Four Stetler Generations

I remember today that I stand on the shoulders of those before me.  Thank you for their prayers, their example, their faithfulness.  Thank you for the stores of wisdom and prayer that are there for me to draw on.

6. Thank you, Lord, for my successes… & failures.

My successes keep me trusting that I’m making a difference.  Thank you for giving me enough hits to have the courage to keep swinging the bat.

My failures keep me humble, and learning.  Thanks for helping me not be destroyed by them.  Thank you that I’m not always right.  When I fall, help me learn to pick up something while I’m down there.

7. Thank you, Lord, for the volunteers who serve with me.

They lift the load in so many ways.  Bless them today, and make their reward great.  Let them feel my gratitude and Your smile.

8. Thank you, Lord for the people who willingly follow.

It’s such a blessing to have some who gladly do right.  Sorry I sometimes forget them in the rush to go after those who stray.  Thank you that everyone is not wandering or resisting… that some let me do my worth with joy & not heaviness of heart.

9. Thank you, Lord, that my self-worth is not wrapped up in what people think of me.

I rest in what you see.  I rest in your definition of success.  They don’t have to like me… or my preaching… or vote for me… or give in the offering… or support my latest idea… for my ministry to be acceptable in your sight.

10. Thank you, Lord for strengthening my resolve.

When I think that I can’t go on, you step in and strengthen me.  I’m grateful.

 

What things are you most thankful for?  Share in the comments or on my Facebook page.

The Pain Points of Pastors – Survey

Help me help you!

In the next few days, I’ll be posting a couple posts on the toughest things about being a pastor.  I’m doing a survey of all my readers who are pastors, to see what you say are the toughest things about your job.

If you’ve already taken the survey, thank you!

I’m working through the results now — and look forward to sharing them!  In the survey I asked a question… Maybe you can relate to some of these answers:

survey edited screenshot

Can you relate to the pain of any of those answers??  I certainly can!

What are YOUR greatest pain points?

If you haven’t taken the 8-question survey yet, please CLICK HERE.  I’d love to have YOUR INPUT!

 

What I’m doing with the results:  Creating Resources

One of the top 5 “pain points” was “not being able to follow up on guests.”  I can relate — for years, I felt the frustration of this one!

But about 3 years ago, I got frustrated enough to start designing a system that didn’t allow people to fall through the cracks.

  • It took months of designing and tweaking
  • Over 100 hours of labor to get it all together
  • Now, it’s humming along nicely
  • I have equipped volunteers to help
  • We have had 12 guests in the past 4 weeks
  • No one fell through the cracks.

I’m going to teach you how to build the system (and save you TONS of time in the process) on my webinar Friday and Saturday.  There are 3 time slots for you convenience… I plan to give away as many of my secrets as possible. 🙂

Register for the Webinar